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| Sunday, February 26, 2006 |
| "My feet are sweaty" |
That's what she proclaimed as we made our way across the parking lot of the restaurant. Out of the blue, just like that, a nudge to my arm and, "my feet are sweaty." What do you say to that? "I'm sorry, would you like a napkin? Perhaps a few?" But, that's what is so unique about us. We grew up together and can say oddball things to one another out of the blue, just like that.
Of the handful of friends that are in it for the duration, she has been the one that has enriched me, encouraging a better way of life. Its difficult to find the words to thank someone for that kind of influence. Especially when the life that was being experienced was leading to a very abrupt, lonely, sad end.
She remembers EVERYTHING, and can pull memories out of the past at the drop of the hat. Something to make anyone envious. She could tell you what you ate for breakfast on October 12th in 1995, if she knew you back then.
She has a contagious smile, quick laugh, and is absolutely filled to the brim with wit. A character, someone that is easy to adore, entertaining, and fun. She has great taste in media, music, and is wise to boot.
She has an undeniable passion for foot cover... leather, canvass, what have you, she LOVES foot wear. She always ends the night with "I had a lot of fun!" which more often than not is absolutely true, for both of us.
Thank you Buckets for being the wonder you are. I had, and am still having, a lot of fun! That is due, in large part to you. |
posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 1:25 AM  |
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| Wednesday, February 22, 2006 |
| Stripped. |
Have you ever seen a sun dog or moon dog? Its a curved reflection that frames the sun or moon in the clouds... So they look like a disk inside a lighted circle. They are beautiful, somewhat rare, and said to be lucky. I saw one as I traveled to work yesterday. It framed the rising sun in hues golden and orange. I thought to myself, 'today will be a beautiful day'. It was. I found out a dear friend was back in town, came to grips with where I need to be in life, set some priorities straight.
Then last night as we lay sleeping soundly in our beds... Some derelict was lighting matches in my new car, dropping their burnt remains on the floorboards. They took my purse, which of course contained my livelihood, well, to a point.
Stripped and standing nude in front of thousands of pointing, laughing bullies as they torture other similar people in the same situation... That's how it feels to find that your identity walked away under someone else's arm. They have my driver's license, social security card, debit card, check book, two gift cards, some cash and pictures of my children. It makes me sick. This thief knows what we look like, where we live, has my parent's address, our phone numbers, my social. Ugh. It really makes me sick.
Predators. I have an issue with people that make their way in life stealing from others that struggle aswell. They couldn't have been too bad off... They tried to use my card nearly forty miles away! At three thirty in the morning no less... So, they had transportation. Bastards. Least they left me my favorite lipshit. I don't know what I would do with out that.
Not only did they get away with my all, they managed to cost me a day's pay aswell! I missed work so that I might run around picking up the pieces. Went to the police and made a report, went to the bank and waited an hour for them to open so I could cancel my old account, then off to be relicensed and order a new ss card. This is the first time anything has ever been stolen from me. I'm embarrassed to say it could have been somewhat prevented. I wonder if the sound I heard at midnight was the perpetrator.... I wonder what would have happened should I have gone outdoors and caught them in the act. I wonder a lot of pointless things.
I learned a few valuable lessons from this experience. One: don't park on the street. Two: Lock your DAMN doors. Three: trust your instincts. Four: cards, checks, driver's licenses, ss cards... All of it is replaceable, and you CAN protect yourself if they are stolen. FIVE: last but not least in the slightest... Any given situation in this life is not permanent, your character is defined by the way in which you react to things, to pick up and move on with the knowledge that tomorrow is a new day shows good character. |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 9:39 PM |
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| Sunday, February 19, 2006 |
| Do we ever know what we really really want? |
| I'm so tired of hearing the words, "I just don't know what I really want right now." In fact, I'm tired of saying those words. You would think after a while the game would get really old for all parties involved, and the admission of what you truly want will come falling out of your face. But, it never does. One moment I catch myself imagining little scenerios of my life spent with the man I am dating, the next I'm completely repulsed by it. Is that genetics? Is it a gender-based issue? It would be so easy for me to say men do this kind of thing because they are manipulative beasts that want their cake and to eat it too... BUT then I catch myself doing the same damn thing. What the hell is with that? I see this mister makes me feel free, young, playful, this one makes me feel strong, independant, inspiring, the other makes me feel interesting, intelligent, and beautiful. I want one that performs the magic of all three. Not three that create little sparks. Yeah, you could say I'm selfish for that. I don't care. We all want someone that lifts us. I want to be all the woman I can be for the man that wants me to be the woman he needs, but in the same I want that man to be what I need too. The one does not out weigh the other. Men piss me off. They really really do. I piss me off. Crap happens. Bleh, I'm always on about stereotyping people. Look at me go! |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 2:48 PM |
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| Monday, February 13, 2006 |
| My first day... |
| So my new job started today. It was good. Learned nothing. Its a typical company with typical concerns regarding typical things that pertain to a certain populace. It was enjoyable because the other trainee in orientation was a peruvian man that had travelled and lived all over the world. He has five plus languages under his belt (meaning he can speak and write fluently in five different dialects). I found him breathtakingly unique.. in that he was humble despite his experiences in this life. He was full of awe inspiring stories from every corner of the globe. If anything the man ensured my lust for culture beyond this dusty sage filled valley of rock and salt water. Not that Utah is lacking in culture... obviously there is plenty to be found and indulged in here, my lust is more concentrated on places that I am required to learn to twist and manipulate my throat and tongue around a plethora of new sounds in order to use the shitter. I find just the thought of such an adventure a bit enthralling spinning my heart, mind, and soul into a flurry of desire so peaked I'm damn near feverish. Yeah. During the continual drone of the safety video projected on the wall, my newfound world travelling friend and I huddled talking about the beautiful wares to be found from Israel to the Netherlands. He nourished my curiosity with his descriptive nature and tinkering accent. He gave to me much more than I could have hoped for from a day of New Kid Orientation at a home health agency. Sometimes I think that certain situations are afforded me because I need them, because my soul needs to be nourished and refreshed every few moments. Otherwise, I think I might dry up, completely dissolve for all the monotony and routine experienced in day to day life. How do I keep coming across these beautiful people, these thrilling testimonials... I can't wait until I own both descriptions, and I am the one describing the beauty of the world to someone as interested as I was. |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 10:40 PM |
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| Sunday, February 12, 2006 |
| Meh, just another Sunday... |
There is nothing quite like waking up with a throat made of sandpaper, head in a vice, and chest full of fire. I reach for my cell phone and find that its three in the afternoon. I have somehow slept the day away.. and my sons have let me do it. I flip it open, intending to call my sister to thank her for my Valentine's gift she thoughtfully had delivered to my front door... she lives in Nebraska, so I imagine it was quite the feat. My phone is disconnected. I hate being poor, but am too lazy and irresponsible to do anything about it. I crawl from my bed, use the toilet, and to the kitchen. I'm moving in slow motion, because I fear anything sudden might break me. I cooked beef noodle soup and set it to simmer so the boys can serve themselves from the pot whenever they choose. I wash dishes, do some laundry, eat some soup. . .
We watched the Olympics for awhile.. watched the flying tomato take the gold medal in halfpipe snow boarding. I like him because he is genuine. He has a big happy smile.. he's forever youthful and completely unpretentious. I love that he has longish unkempt wavy red hair.. and that he is full of character. I like that he isn't exactly comfortable on camera, but doesnt really shy away either. What a cool kid. My son really digs him, enough to draw pictures of him boarding the halfpipe.. what a great role model.
I read for a while afterward.. the boys wanted some nintendo time. My brain feels numb.. I dont think I retained any of the story line of the book that I was reading. I checked my email, played a bit on myspace.. answered a few of my friends letters and now here I sit. The boys have showered, jammied up and are softly snoring in their beds. I should follow their lead. After having slept all day, I can't believe that suddenly I'm tired enough to do it again.
I start my new job in the morning. I'm pretty excited. I will be working with the elderly, mostly those with Alzheimer's and dimentia, in their own homes. I am really happy for the experience because it affords me so much satisfaction, so many blessings. I really am thrilled, just not incredibly stoked to get up in the morning. Like I said before, I'm inherently lazy... least I can admit it.
G'night. |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 10:13 PM |
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| Wednesday, February 08, 2006 |
| Galileo |
A quote that I found both enlightening and brain tingling:
"God has positioned the earth at exactly the right distance from the sun to ripen the grapes in my garden.. So, why doubt his exsistance?" Galileo.
Interesting because it came from a scientist. One that was banned to a life of house arrest after the Catholic Inquisition where in which he was found to be a heretic for having published works supporting the theory that the sun was the center of the universe with the planets revolving around it. |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 9:23 AM |
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| Monday, February 06, 2006 |
| Shear Embarrassment |
I have a new neighbor. He lives directly below me, moved into his apartment a couple of months ago. When he was packing his things in I thought his girl was moving in with him.. as she was here packing stuff in too. Anyway, one day we had a flurry of snowfall here, a couple of feet in the night, and my car was parked on the street. Of course, she was buried in the snow when I woke up, and would NOT be budged. (saab's are the stubborn bitches of the car world) No, instead she went four feet into a gutter so that you couldnt even open the car door to get out. So, after having fucked with it for hours, I decided to abandon her there. There was no moving her, and it was too early in the morning to ask for neighborly assistance. So I went back indoors for coffee and hot breakfast. The more I sat on the problem, the more frustrated I became.. the plows had already come by, burying my car so precisely that school children were mistaking it for a mound of snow built for their sledding pleasure... so I bundled up and weilding my lovely red snow shovel, I went out into the vicious world to rid its sidewalks of their white burden. Well, the new neighbor caught me. I was shovelling the whole complex, to ease my irritation, had to do something. So he came out and pulled my car out of its snowy hiding place.. and for that I baked him cookies. He invited me to come and talk sometime. 'Sure, yeah would love to' being my response. But there was never an intention behind it.. because I thought he was with the pretty girl-box in hand. Few weeks later he came out of his apartment as I was leaving.... invited me over to talk again. I thought, how strange, maybe he isnt with said box carrying pretty girl. I waited. Noticed he came and went alone, that once and awhile a little boy would accompany pretty girl to downdoor neighbor's house, and that she would leave alone. .. .
So today downdoor neighbor knocks on my door. 'Hey updoor neighbor!' (he didnt really say this... ) 'I was just wondering if you had a phone, maybe would you call my cell.. I think I might have left it at the store... have been looking for it frantically, and can not find it.' He scans me standing there in the doorway in my oversized mint green bathrobe, huge pajama's underneath, skewed hair/makeup, and lovely green froggy slippers, its two o'clock in the afternoon. I want to die. 'Sure!' I practically shout. 'I have a cell phone, just, erm, let me get it...' I grope around the couch a moment amongst the discarded tissue papers, soda cans, empty medicine boxes and coffee mugs. 'I havent been feeling well... ' I say, trying to excuse myself. I find the confounded phone and smile, waiting for him to tell me his number. He does. I dial, he runs to his house... comes out and heads to his jeep... where in which he finds his phone. He comes back... holding it up proudly, 'thanx' he says, never breaking stride to his stairwell.. I smile, 'No, thank you.. now I have your phone number what I can stalk you all the better... ' laughing, ' I mean, its only partially satisfying knowing where you take your meals and rest your head at night.' He looks up at me, horrified. I mean, this man's face was the very picture of absolute fear. I laughed so hard I spun into a fit of choking and coughing.. 'Uhhh..' he says, 'talk to you later.' practically running into his apartment.
You wouldnt believe this... but I called him. Like the tard I am... I called him. 'Uh, Hi neighbor... Its kat.. upstairs? You thought I was joking about the whole stalking thing, didnt you... ' I swear the guy audibly whimpered. 'what you doin?' He said something about watching football and having been nearly asleep.. then out of courtesy asked how I was... 'oh, I'm bored' I say.. 'nothing doin' I say... 'your kids asleep' he asks, 'yeah, have been for hours' I say.. 'hope we're not too noisy for you up here' 'nah', he assures, 'your pretty quiet up there' to which I smile.. though he can't see that. 'yeah, I hear strange bumps in the night every once and a while' he says, 'but that just comes with living in an apartment, right?' I want to die. 'so, uh, we were about to get into the shower, erm.. if we're too loud just stomp on the floor in the bathroom..' he says. Now I really want to die. 'Erm.. sorry for having called so late' I blubber. 'No biggie, your alright' he says. Ugh. Not my intention. I SO did not want to be left feeling so awkward.. guy invites you down to talk.. you get guys number, you call to talk.. just wanted to be guys friend. Had no clue guy had girl with him.. would never have called.. would have stuck to fresh baked cookies every now and again, maybe a tap on the door and a quick chat in the yard. Now I have threatened to and become the great-mint-green-housecoat-wearing phone stalker that calls late at night while your trying to cuddle up to your love on the couch. Oi. I never really feel self concious about shit.. but right now.. I wish I could move away. |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 11:35 PM |
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| Driving in cars |
I went to Salt Lake yesterday to meet with representatives from different schooling programs. (falls along the lines of my career goals... Nursing... La de Dee) As I was driving along, I started to really look into the other cars on the street... Really peering into the windows at the people sharing the road with me. When I turned down State off of 27th south, there was a man sitting in a little red deathtrap completely wrapped from head to..
well...
chest..
(that's as far as I could see)
in bandages. I must have looked at him rather intensely because he smirked, so I waved. To the right, a beautiful brunette driving a very nice sportscar, screaming into a black razor cell phone. To the left a gentle looking elderly couple in a neon. Ahead of me there is a bumper sticker that boasts of the driver's amazing honor student. I look in the rear view mirror, really study the face of the man behind me. He has a dark goatee, a faux hawk, very dark buglike sunglasses, a white dress shirt over a tee shirt, there is something shiny dangling from the rear view mirror. He starts to sing something, tapping on his steering wheel... Wish I were in his passenger seat, would like to hear the tune. He's honking.. Oh, shootz, the light turned.
I head to Sugarhouse, because that's where I go when I have time to kill in the 'big city' during daylight hours. Used to drink beer in a little tiny shack of a bar there... But, I went to the little coffeeshop on the corner where Bleu Kats used to stand. The girl at the counter was formidable and apathetic. Her hair was an incredible shade of red.. The kind that looks iridescent.. She had seven piercings in her face and sixteen visible tattoos on her chest, neck, shoulders, and forearms. When I walked up to order we greeted with a little hug and kiss on the cheek. I haven't seen her in a long time. She recently shaved her head, the dreads were too long and heavy, were giving her headaches, the iridescent red was a tribute to a friend that recently died of cancer. This is a genuine woman. Most of her 'self-mutilation' and 'body graffiti' is to commemorate some grand moment or relationship in her short twenty something years. Her formidable poise and apathetic gaze come from many years of being judged long before contact is ever made, IF it is made. She's used to people openly staring at her, making snide remarks, avoiding her like the plague. But, I love her soul, her beautiful unique soul. We talk about the weather, music, life. I love chance meetings like this one.
When I leave, there is a large SUV waiting for my parking space. A tiny little blonde woman is perched in the driver's seat, looking somewhat displaced in such a giant box, her face just barely peering over the dashboard. I cant help laughing. Her windshield throws a bluish hue across her face, giving her a very defined smurfette-esq glow. She impatiently honks as I fumble for my keys. The smile fades from my face and I gesture defiantly, then take my time opening my door, putting on my seatbelt, checking and applying lipstick that wasn't previously there, made a phone call or two, all the while checking my rearview mirror to be sure she sat waiting. When she finally did lose her temper, pulling away haughtily, I calmly put my car in reverse and followed her out. She tossed her hair and glared at me in frustration when I pulled up next to her. She made me think of a really antsy chihuahua... I'm sure she would have given that SUV for a chance to bite my ankles. I know if the shoe were on the other foot, I would have. |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 11:29 PM |
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