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| Thursday, January 31, 2008 |
| Love |
"I love you, Kat."
The words hang earnestly in the dark.
I am filled with empathy.
My hand reaches out, fumbling for the source of this profession.
Angular cheekbones and sandpaper whiskered chin,
My fingers caught up in his, he presses them softly to his lips.
"I love you, too."
I squeak, a little too loudly.
I don't understand my reaction.
He gathers me on cue.
Strong arms encircle, legs intertwine.
He prods a little.
Questions my mood stream.
Questions my thoughts.
He is the one I cannot lie to.
He always knows.
"I have a pre-conceived sadness at hurting you."
"You haven't hurt me, you fill me with joy and wonder, Daily!"
"I will. I am already sorry."
He caresses my face,
pushes strands of hair off my shoulders,
sighs deeply.
"I am a grown man, I don't want you to hurt me, but IF you do.. I pre-forgive you."
I love being in love. |
posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 12:25 PM  |
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| Thursday, January 17, 2008 |
| Its the principle of the matter |
Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah
She is shouting in my ear, no longer making any sense.
'YOUR COMPANY OWES ME FORTY NINE DOLLARS AND NINETY NINE CENTS!'
I try to explain, quietly with much reserve,
'Ma'am this is abuse to my brain, not something I deserve.'
I hate that I am abandoned to disdain.
No tools are given me, and people don't refrain.
'YOUR AN IDIOT, YOU FOOL, TRANSFER ME TO SOMEONE ELSE, MY QUESTIONS ARE NOT ANSWERED
AND SO I AM GOING TO PELT... YOU WITH INSULTS, YOU SNOT NOSED LITTLE BRAT!!!'
I take a deep breath, and inwardly sigh.
'Ma'am I do apologize, I have told you all that..'
'DON'T PATRONIZE ME, I WANT YOUR SUPERVISOR...'
'I can request one to call you in 24-72 hours..?'
And then the true DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM pseudo personality appears..
'I HAVE BEEN A L-LOYAL C-C-CUSTOMER TO A-A-AT-T-T-N-N-AAAN-D-T-T-T FOR MANY YEARS!'
I have made her so mad she is stuttering.
She spits and she spews, colorful words she is uttering.
I repeat the status of her account three times.
I give my name and extension and another number to which she can call and whine.
I ask if there is anything more I can do..
she says, 'I AM NOT FINISHED TALKING TO YOU!'
I calmly inform that my obligation is met.
I thank her for calling and hit my phone's reset.
I take a deep breath, square my shoulders and sigh.
That is the second person, I have made cry.
Then I hit my phone's button marked ready..
and think while I speak to another angry person,
'this must make them feel heady...'
Call after call I answer stock questions.
I make people angry and leave poor impressions.
I am ready for change, and I am only one week in.
Someone please save me from this horrible din.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I hear,
"It's the principle of the matter, dear."
I would be rich, and not needing this job.
I could be the one calling shouting, 'cut me a check you filthy slob!'
Instead here I sit, saying again and again.. 'yes ma'am or sir.. I DO understand.'
Meh, such is life, couldn't get much worse,
and then again, in the future..
I may say, 'I miss being coerced.' |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 9:56 AM |
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| Saturday, January 05, 2008 |
| Goodbye |
There it was.
Crescent moon and its silver light, smiling down on me.
Oh, this day.
Muddled, befuddled, and feeling a bit ruthless.
I haven't spoken to him in weeks.
How do you divorce a situation?
Is it possible to forget?
He hurt me.
I still love him.
What does that say for my mind?
I do not want to be his wife.
Poison for my soul.
I do wish there could be friendship.
Too late for that.
It is true that I found and lost love with someone else.
Does that make me bad?
Pain inflicted one to another.
It isn't fair.
So part relieved, part saddened, I move along.
I do miss little moments, but don't miss the whole.
I wish the very best for him.
I hope he comes to understand, in order to deserve something, you must work for it.
So tender and bruised, add this scar to old territory.
Papers went off today, the end of one chapter, bleeds into the beginning of another.
Ciao, sir, and thank you for your time. |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 1:12 PM |
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| Broken Glass |
Cold and Lonely
Partially Deranged
I Write Bad Poetry
I Draw Nonsensical Images
I Pray For Forgiveness
I Pray For Healing
I Need Help.
I Ask a Moment Of Your Time
Am I So Unworthy?
Beautiful, Smart, Classy
Words Chosen For Me By You
I Am Changed
Selfish, Uncaring, Thoughtless
Also My Labels From You
you ask me why i cry
ask where this stream of hot tears spring...
moments after you crush me.
Something You'd Said You Wouldn't Do!
AM I SO FRAGILE?!?
don't pick up my shards, they aren't worth cradling in your hands, their sharpness may cut, may make you bleed, may make you hurt
Heaven Forbid, as this world is meant to turn for you. Pardon my broken heart, the inconvenience of it must really cramp your style. |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 1:10 PM |
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| Wait |
A SUDDEN BURST OF ANGER
THE SIGHT UN ENTHRALLING
YOU SLAM THE DOOR AS YOU LEAVE
A PROMISE OF DISGUST ON YOUR LIPS
AND SO I SIT.
I'M WAITING WAITING WAITING
WHEN WILL YOU COME HOME?
A RUSH OF DISAPPOINTMENT
A HEART IN DISARRAY
WHERE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE?
WE WITH ALL OUR VICES
A BARRIER OF UGLY JEALOUSY THERE
MY HEART CRIES OUT TO YOURS
WHERE COULD YOU BE?
I'M SITTING, SADNESS & SORROW ON MY MIND
WHEN WILL YOU COME HOME?
I'M WAITING WAITING WAITING
MINUTES LIKE YEARS
I'M COUNTING SECONDS AS THEY PASS
HOURS GO BY...
YOUR STILL NOT HERE
IS THIS HOW LOVE IS TO BE?
A MIXTURE OF HEARTACHE AND HAPPINESS?
ALONE ONE IS LONELY
TOGETHER ARE YOU TO FEEL THE SAME?
I CAN TELL YOU NOTHING
YET, EVERYTHING IS KNOWN.
I'M AMAZED AT YOUR CLAIRVOYANCE
SEEING LIFE SO CLEARLY MUST BE A DIFFICULT TASK
MUST BE VERY FRUSTRATING TO NOT ALWAYS CONVINCE ONE
SUCH AS I
TO BLINDLY FOLLOW ON YOUR PATH.
ITS BEEN HOURS SINCE YOU STORMED OUT
AND I, WITHOUT A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.
AND SO I WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT
HEART IN THROAT, HANDS CLAMMY-
EACH PASSING VEHICLE A PROSPECT FOR YOUR ARRIVAL
BUT THEY DON'T STOP.
MIND REELING, ASSUMPTIONS PESSIMISTIC
WE BOTH HAVE MUCH AT STAKE
ALL I CAN DO IS WAIT.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOU ARE
HAVE NO CLUE WHERE TO LOOK
THE CHILDREN ARE ALL SLEEPING.
SO ON A BED OF EGGSHELLS I WAIT. |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 1:05 PM |
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