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| Thursday, June 11, 2009 |
| Massage |
I had the weirdest dream.
I was in school, we were setting up to do paraffin wax treatments. Our instructor was telling us that we weren't going to melt the wax completely, just enough that it would have a soft consistancy. She demonstrated, blobbing a giant white chunk on the TA's forehead. Then she pulled out a big black garbage bag and proceeded to pull it over the TA's head, taping it at the neck. She turns to the class, saying we needed to leave the client in this state for fifteen minutes. Looking around the room, everyone wore looks of complacency like this was completely normal.
I spoke up.
"Isn't that going to kill her?"
The instructor looked at me like I was a problem child,"No, actually this treatment is widely recommended, it exfoliates the skin and slows the body's systems down by limiting the amount of oxygen it receives."
I'm apalled.
"Fifteen minutes breathing in a bag is going to kill her!"
I break for the table and pull at the tape around the TA's neck. She struggles with me, batting my hands away. Everyone is gasping and putting their books in front of their faces, they are all laughing at me.
I manage to pull the bag off the TA's face. She is livid, screaming at me. "you idiot!! This is my favorite modality, I have been doing this for twelve years and have yet to have anyone die on my table! You are much too overdramatic!"
The instructor asks me why I came to school in the first place, if not to learn. I tell her its a proven fact that depriving the body of oxygen will kill a person. Everyone in the room is looking back and forth between us. The instructor tells me to leave the room and get a drink of water.
I do.
When I return everyone has completed their treatment. I expected to find a room full of dead people, with my instructor to blame. But, when I walk in, everyone is still alive and all of them have the exact same face. Everyone looks just like the instructor. I only can tell the difference between people by the clothing they wear and the shapes of their bodies. They are all telling me to join them, insisting that I get on the table and complete the treatment.
I ran out of the room, trying to get to the door that exits the building, but it kept moving away from me. It was twenty feet, then zoomed to forty, then was just at my fingertips, but my hands kept going through it like it was never there. Like it was a projection.
When I turned around everyone was singing along with the instructor to a compilation CD. The TA had a guitar and the girl that was sitting at the front desk in the lobby was leaping around throwing confetti in the air.
I woke up laughing.
Weird. |
posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 2:22 PM  |
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| Monday, June 08, 2009 |
| Dah, Dah, Dah dah. |
They are mowing the lawns at my apartment complex. Its raining, cold, and the grass is an incredible green. I wonder at it while I'm sipping my coffee on the balcony in my knit house socks.
I have a red flier for a job posting at my bank sitting under a pile at my desk. I keep thinking I should apply, reading it again and again. It's funny they note that they keep their egos in check and keep a sense of humor in the workplace. When I walk in there, I am always surprised at the music selection. It wafts from the speakers, always some rock tune.
I'm disoriented. I feel like there is some 'should be' that I am to be working on. But, I can't think of anything pending. Maybe it stems from always having some fire or another to put out in this daily life. Come to think of it, all of my days are running together lately.
That is not a bad thing.
I wonder how I would do caring for other people's pets. I wonder if it would be rewarding. The boys have wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. I wonder if they would find happiness in borrowing someone else's for a few hours.
There is a picture on the wall of a cat with a little blue beanie pulled down over it's eyes. When I look at it, I smile. It seems it is smiling from under it's woolen blind fold, completely content with being robbed of its senses. I wish my kids weren't allergic. I might consider a kitten.
What to do today.
There isn't any cereal or eggs. I sent Dylan to pick some up. It amazes me that my child, the eldest, is capable of such a task. I give him a few dollars and tell him to be thrifty. He comes back with change. Again, I am amazed.
Oh, heavens. I guess I should be finding something, anything, to do. Maybe I will pester Nick for awhile. |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 11:55 AM |
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| Mr. Tum Tum Torillo |
We stand at the wash basin, as we often do.
He is washing, and I am trying to prove useful by rinsing..
I turn the water on for each separate dish, then off again after I am done.
I like just standing next to him.
We have just finished off a really beautiful dinner (one of many that he prepared)
My stomach is so full I can't keep it from stretching a bit beneath my skin.
It burbles and grumbles, and I comment on it's unusual size.
He teases, calling me Miss Tuboguts.
Adopting an English accent, I respond,
"oh, I am Miss Tuboguts. I eat and eat all day, I am Miss Tuboguts, don't take my food away."
He is laughing.
I love it when he laughs.
Eyes sparkle, lips pulled back and teeth bared in an uncommon, beautiful grin.
His head tips back, his Adam's Apple jiggles up and down with each chortle.
I continue, I love the response...
"If I am Miss Tuboguts, your my Tum Tum Torillo."
He is laughing so hard he has to double over and collect his breath.
We make up a story about Miss Tuboguts and Mr. Tum Tum Torillo.
It is fun, light, joyous.
I love this about him, the way we play off each other, the way he can turn any situation of discomfort or sorrow and shine a beam of glorious light on it.
He is immensely beautiful to me.
He frowns and presses his lips together, makes a quick intake of breath, eyes brooding EVERY time he is about to make a point that he is unsure you will or will not accept.
He unerringly shares anyway.
I love that he is bold and strong and unafraid of anything.
I have never met anyone so courageous.
He is smart, handsome, and has every little quality I have ever wanted in a man.
I can't believe he chose me.
Lucky, lucky girl. |
| posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 11:25 AM |
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