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| Tuesday, January 05, 2010 |
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So, today is day three nicotine free. I had a half of a thirty two ounce Pepsi on Sunday, and have been able to keep to the guidelines I made for myself. I'm careful about eating, and portion.. which is incredibly hard to do when you quit smoking. Everything smells so good. Everything. I can smell a fresh cut apple from a mile away, no joke. Taste too! Everything, everything everything I eat tastes like its magnified. The citrus is bright and cheery, the spice extra spicy, the meat extra meaty. Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like a brand new person, learning all over again.
I incorporated a new mouth care routine to my quit smoking campaign. Its obsessive, and a little neurotic, but it works for me. I think because I spend five ten minutes caring for my teeth, gums, tongue .. whatnot, and my mouth is so minty clean, the last thing I want is to dump an ashtray into it. I pre-rinse with a whitening solution, rinse with water, floss, rinse with water, brush, rinse with water, rinse with listerine, rinse with water. It literally takes five ten minutes. Also, I carry around those little pseudo toothbrush things... whisps, that look like tiny plastic toothbrushes and have a little dot of pepperminty gel in them... I chew and chew on that until its right mutilated. Because I am trying to be healthy, tone my body, and watch my weight, I don't want to replace smoking with something edible. So, Whisps it is... I also allow myself four pieces of licorice, and two or three mints a day. And I drink a TON of water.
Yesterday I drank two cups of coffee. That says a lot. I am the girl that will drink three pots a day. No caffeine headache.. that I could discern, but I had WICKED nicotine with drawls. I was really kind of rotten, and felt a little spun. Shaky, cranky, impulsive, jumpy and reactive. Like a volcano. I felt really horrible on and off all day, nauseated, then just mean. I felt like ripping some one's vocal chords from their throat, just because I could. There were a lot of compulsive behaviors. I find myself not really knowing what to do with my hands. So I clean. Whatever I come across.. whether it is clean or not. I made home made wheat bread yesterday afternoon... just beat the hell out of it, to release some of the nonsense aggression I felt.
It is amazing to me, how much time there is to accomplish things. You wouldn't think that would be a big factor.. but when you are stepping outside to smoke fifteen to twenty times a day for ten minutes at a time... your wasting nearly four hours a day. I find myself wanting to go to bed earlier, wanting to wake up earlier, then wondering why... uuuuh. I really can't wait for the obsessive part of this process to be over. I am overcome with thoughts of smoking and food. Ridiculous.
Okay, so yesterday... I also completed thirty minutes of cardiovascular exercise. .. . walked to the store and back, walked halfway home from work, and completed four massages.
Today, I am focusing on my arms. Bicep curls, tricep kick backs, and shoulder presses. I am going to get my manicure and pedicure Nick gave me for Christmas, need to pay the rent and car payments, maybe get some groceries, and ... who knows. My impulse is to fill every second of the day.. but I can't think of a thing to do. My workday is done already.. and now I am afraid I have all the time in the world to think about.. you guessed it, food and smoking. Pah! |
posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 9:49 AM  |
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