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| Saturday, February 16, 2008 |
| Going for a Walk. |
Walking along
concrete is a vast gray sky under my feet
occasionally met with puffy white snow.
My shoes squeak as flakes are kicked from their toes
I could go on like this forever.
Music blasting my ears,
shaking the grey matter in my skull.
Making my own pace
I wander wherever I want to go.
No concept of time,
no worries, mind comfortably blank.
I realise I'm tired. Not physically, but mentally.. exhausted.
There is one other time I feel blissful like this, when I am sleeping.
People suggest prozac. Interesting that mood altering drugs are so frowned upon
by my culture, until a doctor prescribes them.
I thank you no. I have experimented with drugs, I don't need someone with an education to tell me their benefits and pitfalls.
I am a two time divorcee with three kids and a relationship with an alcoholic, who I love very much, but know I can't fix.
I am not educated, do not have many skills to speak of, and make nine dollars an hour working for a company I hate.
My first ex-husband is a deadbeat dad that only occasionally pays his child support, so it can not be relied upon.
I am just tired.
The sun spills orange, red, gold across the horizon.
Mountains are a formidable contrast to such beauty.
I stop. I am breathless. Shaken.
Its good to feel again. |
posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 11:44 AM  |
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