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| Monday, October 16, 2006 |
| Lucky Noam |
I sit here listening to the splashing pattering of Monday morning rain..
My thoughts have not been with you for years,
Just when I think I am over loving, losing, and all of our pain,
You reappear.
Do you remember painting by candlelight?
Do you remember huddling together, while you read to me from your Hebrew Journals?
Do you remember spending so much time picking out old movies, then cuddling up and watching them from that old brown flowered couch?
Do you remember Henry the Moose? I still have him.
Do you remember our early morning coffee stints and soup in the bread bowl?
Do you remember cooking steak for me, making a beautiful salad?
Remember when we partied with that cop my best friend was dating, then making love standing in my bedroom?
You were my best friend. You were my knight. You gave me solace, comfort, confidence. You loved me and I failed to notice.
And I loved you too.
I miss you so much. I miss the easy way we spent our time together. I miss the perpetual five o clock shadow, the curl of your hair, the shape of your head, your large ears, friendly eyes, your goofy grin, your laugh lines, I even miss your pigeon chest. I loved how I could feed you forever and you never gained any weight. I loved how you wouldn't buy yourself anything new, because you didnt want it to be stolen from you. I loved how you wore clothes from thrift stores, because what was fashion but vanity... and you believed clothes were to perform the function of covering your body. I loved how you would cringe every time the test sirens came on at lunchtime, bringing back horrific memories that you would share from your childhood. I loved how your face would light when you saw me, how you would ask when you were going to see me again, how you would gently wrap your fingers around my wrist and tell me you missed me. I loved that there were no expectations, I loved that we never spoke of what we had. But now I regret it, because now I live with out you.
For years I have wondered where you have been.
Then out of the blue, on a rainy Monday morning, I hear from you.
My lucky Noam.
And though it was a simple thing you sent to me.. a 'getting to know you email' that was sent to everyone on an email list I have yet to update...
It was enough to tear open a gaping hole in my soul, a place reserved for you. |
posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 11:56 AM  |
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