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| Saturday, January 14, 2006 |
| quit smoking |
| I haven't had a cigarette for nearly twenty four hours. I keep forgetting things, I'm moving around in a constant haze. I keep coughing up guck, my nose is constantly running. They say thats what happens when you quit. I go through these weird dizzy spells, where your equilibrium is completely trashed. I love to chew on ballpoint pen tubes, love to love to love to, I'm so very grateful to the inventor of the ballpoint pen tube. My leg shakes. Bounces on the ball of my foot, toes curled, digging into the carpet. I dont even realize its happening, until someone grabs my knee and asks me to stop. I want to scream. Deep breath in... let the fucker out, deep breath in... let it out. Breathing feels different, almost fulfilling. I concentrate on the details of it, on its refreshing nature. Filling your lungs to the brim with cool crisp clean air is a bit like stretching when you first wake up in the morning. Your head seems to fill with freshly circulated blood, you think clearer. So I breathe deep, chew on ballpoint pen tubes, and shake. If I were ever known to be a freak, now would be the most obvious time.... |
posted by katmandusuekookachoo @ 10:57 AM  |
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